Remembering you
by Save yourself13
Summary: We all know it ends well for everyone... Well almost everyone. Jaces thoughts on max. It will hit you right in the feels :)


I knew it had been a long time, I also knew that I should be happy that everything worked out... It was suppose to be some sappy happily ever after shit. I wanted that. He wasn't suppose to...

I was sitting on the practice mat in the institute training room, I had been training for hours to get him out of my head but I couldn't. I pushed him away, I should have spent more time with him. I laid back giving up on training, I just sat there fighting the tears.

Every time I looked around this room I would see him throwing his knives, him getting frustrated every time someone fussed over his cuts and bruises. He would yell at us and say he wasn't a little kid and that he would be a shadow hunter like us soon enough. He hadn't even gotten his first mark yet... He didn't have his first girlfriend, he never fell in love. He deserved to know love, love like me and clary had. He didn't even know about me and clary, not that he didn't guess, he always was the first to know everything

**Flash back **

"Max this is not the time, well hang out later ok?" I was sitting on my bed, this was defiantly not the time to talk to him, I was to upset. I didn't want to say something mean to him. "No I want to talk now!" that shocked me, he never really was the one to disobey me, he always did what he was told. With an attitude yes but he was normally very quiet and good. "No?" "No, jace we need to talk. I have tried a lot but you send me away. I AM NOT A KID! I know somethings wrong. Your my brother and I just want to talk" I couldn't help but smile a little, that little guy was starting to act like me, that could be both good and bad- actually no just bad news. "Fine, close the door Kay" he did and then he sat down on the bed. He was so small. "What do you want to talk about?" He folded his arms and stared at me like I was crazy "about you" I rolled my eyes trying not to look into those adorable eyes hidden beneath the over sized glasses he wore.

"Max I'm fine, but I do think we should pull out theses comics I can re-" he cut me off "don't change the subject, you always change the subject. Why do you get upset when your sister- that red haired girl comes over?" I flinched when he said sister but he didn't notice " max I don't-" he cut me off once again "and you look at her funny. Like when she walked into the library, I was reading my manga book and when you saw her... Well you looked at her like it hurt. You started to shake jace. Why?, did she hurt you?, don't you like her?" I hadn't realised he had noticed so much, I looked away from him once again. I wished he would just read or go play with izzy or anything but talk about this. "Max... I don't hate her" I croaked a little but I continued "I could never hate her... Even If I wanted to, I could never hate clary" I looked down at my hands which were shaking again. "Jace... Do you like her?" My eyes flew wide as I looked up at him but i didn't say a word, I couldn't find the words. "I see you look at izzy and Alec and then when you look at that girl- clary?, well it's different..." I started to breathe heavily, if my nine year old brother knew who else did?. It was sick to feel that way toward your sister. Just sick, I should have been locked away for feeling the way I did "max, I, I um" I couldn't find the words "jace I don't think she's your sister" I sucked in a breath " max... What are you talking about?" He shrugged like it was nothing " she doesn't look like you. Me, Alec and izzy look alike, my friends and their families look alike. You and clary don't. Your blond with gold eyes she's got red hair and green eyes. Actually you both look nothing alike. That and that bad guy val-whatever he is bad why would he tell the truth?" My eyes remained wide at him, had he really paid much attention to us?. Before I could say anything he continued " it's like in my books, the bad guy goes and does something bad, then the good guys come to stop him but the bad guy always does something to stop the hero. Our bad guy lied to make you feel bad and make you distracted" I smiled a little at his logic. It's not like I hadn't thought of it before, it's just if he wasn't lying...

"Max this isn't a comic. The bad guy sometimes tells the truth" he sighed making me look at him, he looked annoyed "what?" I asked trying to read his face "jace, clary doesn't look at you like a brother. She looks at you the way you look at her... I think she likes you to" I tiny little bit of joy lit up inside me but was almost instantly put out with facts

She was my sister

She deserved better

She didn't love me

"She's my sister max. Your not suppose to..." I got up and looked away from him, I couldn't take it. "But what if she isn't your sister?, would you marry her like mum and dad did, they liked each other" I felt my eyes start to glass over and my chest begin to burn. I would marry her, I would love her, I would treat her like the precious gem she was... "No max she's my sister" he obviously wasn't buying it " you can lie to me jace but just because I'm nine doesn't mean I don't know things. I'm not stupid. Your my brother and I know you like her. And I know that when you kill the bad guy and become a hero you will get the princess and live happily ever after..." With that I walked out of the room and strait out side so no one would see me

**End of flash back **

He was so smart. How would he have reacted when me and clary got together? Would he have read comics with simon? How would he have reacted when he found out about Magnus and Alec? Would he have fond love? What would he look like? Would he still be proud to call me his brother? The thoughts buzzing around me stopped me from hearing the foot steps so the hand on my shoulder made me jump "CLARY! By the angel you gave me a heart attack!" I smirked at her a little but she notice my eyes were glassy, she always knew when something was bothering me. Because she loved me the way I loved her. She looked at me and wiped a tear I hadn't known had fallen "max would be proud to call you his brother, he died because he knew it was worth it" she said pulling me down so my head rested on her lap and I was looking up at her gorgeous face. "I just wish..." I sighed closing my eyes "I wish he would have known" she started to run her hands trough my hair to comfort me "would have known what?" I sighed again "everything. About me and you, about alic being gay, about maryse and Robert, I wish he could have hung out with simon and you and read some comics. I wish that he knew how much I loved him" I felt a cold drop land on my face and when I opened my eyes I saw clary's crying. "Clary sweetheart-" "jace I may not have known him well but that little boy, what I did know about him, was amazing. He may have been the bravest boy I have ever meet. He was young but I like to think he was happy And that he died protecting what he loved, a true shadow hunter death..." I sat up and wrapped my arms around my girlfriend " he liked you, he told me you were cool" I felt her smile a bit "I love you jace" I snuggled my head into her fiery red hair "I love you to clary... Forever"

We stayed there most of the night just comforting each other. By the angel I missed max. I just hoped that somewhere he was happy.

**I know I'm horrible, I miss max. Why Cassandra! *sigh* please tell me what you think of the story :)**


End file.
